I read something on Nicolas's blog the other day that really got me thinking. He was saying that in Vietnam he feels like a dog wearing a sweater, meaning that whenever we try acting like the locals or fitting in, they see us the same way we look at dogs wearing sweaters: cute, trying to be like us, but not like us.
I guess that's how I've been feeling lately. If I try to fit in, sure I can make friends but I'm always their "foreign friend", not like any other friend. Or if I try to hang out with foreigners instead, well you either have the ones who are here temporarily and we all get tired of making friends who leave after a few months, or the ones who married a local and already have their family life here. Sure there are a few exceptions, but in general that's pretty much how it is, and it's hard to fit in.
I really wonder how long I can stay here, if I'll really ever fit in. But then again I wonder if I'll be happy if I go back home. Sweet Home Alabama was on TV today, and it got me thinking about home and if it's possible to replace it. I'm going home in a month for 2 weeks. I'm looking forward to it, but at the same time I'm afraid it will make me so confused...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Another year over
So this is Xmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Xmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
John Lennon originally wrote this song as a protest against the Vietnam war (or American war as it's called in Vietnam). Fortunately things have changed a lot since 1971, but I thought it was appropriate to start a post about my reflections on my year which was mostly spent in Vietnam.
Here's my 2008 in a few lines.
January: Beijing, Shanghai with Fudan, time at Sinky's and meimei's, seeing old friends again, crazy China NatCo but so inspiring, deciding to run for MC in Vietnam
February: spring festival in Guangzhou with Julien, arriving in Vietnam lost and confused, Huy's house and the great AIESECers from Vietnam, being selected for MC
March: reuniting with Nicole in Hanoi, off to Guangzhou by bus again and then Tokyo for APXPROS, meeting my team which reinforced my decision, new friends
April: fly back to Shanghai to see my friends again, reunite with Nicole again and off to RIC in Hangzhou, great AIESECers in Wuhan, Chengdu and pandas, Emeishan and monkeys, random huge buddha in Leshan, Xi'an, Beijing again with David and Virginie and off to Canada
May: hi home, goodbye home forever, visiting friends at NLDC in Toronto, Montreal then flying to Toronto, Vancouver, Shanghai, one week break to see friends, Guangzhou, amazing APMCTC, bus to Hanoi with Laura, reuniting with Hanoi friends
June: finally arriving in HCMC for the first time, homestay with Minh, finding a house, settling down, starting as a team, welcoming our first CEEDer
July: camping with Scouts, amazing NatCo in Long Hai, great trip to the Highlands
August: IC and seeing old friends in Brazil, demotivating conference, shock in Amsterdam
September: Japan Study Tour, inspiration and reflection, work, work and work
October: Phu Quoc island, first BoA meeting
November: frustration kicking in as expected, sharing and readjusting
December: confusion, remotivation, too many new people in our house, Christmas in Vung Tau, interesting new year eve
It seems that every year keeps getting better. At this time last year I couldn't see further than flying back from China in April. My choices have led me to living a great experience here. When I decided to run for MC of Vietnam, I didn't know I'd get as much out of it as I am getting now. Living and working in another country in a multicultural team is giving me much more than what I could have expected. I constantly have to challenge myself and adjust. Some changes I see in myself:
Learning to trust others more: it's always been hard for me to open up to new people, but by being surrounded by people who have all known me for less than a year, I have to be more trusting and accept their feedback and criticism.
Increased adaptability: living in another culture where interpersonal communication is different, I am always analysing the way I act and talk in order to adjust it to fit with Vietnam. This is not an easy task, but a great learning one. It's helping me develop self-awareness and awareness of others. I have to deal with humility, saving face, non confrontation, etc. I also have to adapt in terms of living conditions. I wasn't expecting to be spending a year in a one bedroom 'house', having to share a bed with different people through the year. After 7 months it seems like it's possible.
Realization of what matters: having considerably low standards of living here, I realize I do not need a big house and all the latest gadgets, although I would enjoy a little bit more privacy and comfort. Being away from home, and in a country that values family a lot, I also value my family and my old friends more.
I feel I am immensely lucky to be working with such amazing individuals as the members of AIESEC Vietnam. Smart and ambitious people, people willing to sacrifice a lot for their personal development and the impact on their peers. They are constantly challenging me, and I am growing a lot from it. I feel that what I am doing here is extremely meaningful and that motivates me to do better. I am living an experience that will be determining for my future, in terms of the professional experience, personal development and contacts I am gaining. Sometimes in AIESEC we forget how special what we are doing is, because we are surrounded by people who do the same. But when I think about it, I don't know many people my age from Quebec City who have such a wide Asian network and have the same level of responsibility in their job as I do.
What I can say to others who are graduating soon and aren't sure what they want to do is follow your gut feelings, take the plunge, do whatever it is that you're still hesitating about. In the end you won't regret it. It will all be worth it and will make sense, even though maybe right now it's unclear.
To all of you, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for being in my life, for being part of 2008 even though we might not even have seen each other in person this past year. I have learned a lot from you.
2009 shall be even better: Tet Holiday in Binh Dinh, Hoi An and Da Nang, parents visiting in March, Hanoi and maybe Hong Kong, and then who knows! I am not totally sure what is coming after July, but it should be interesting. The future is looking bright!
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Xmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
John Lennon originally wrote this song as a protest against the Vietnam war (or American war as it's called in Vietnam). Fortunately things have changed a lot since 1971, but I thought it was appropriate to start a post about my reflections on my year which was mostly spent in Vietnam.
Here's my 2008 in a few lines.
January: Beijing, Shanghai with Fudan, time at Sinky's and meimei's, seeing old friends again, crazy China NatCo but so inspiring, deciding to run for MC in Vietnam
February: spring festival in Guangzhou with Julien, arriving in Vietnam lost and confused, Huy's house and the great AIESECers from Vietnam, being selected for MC
March: reuniting with Nicole in Hanoi, off to Guangzhou by bus again and then Tokyo for APXPROS, meeting my team which reinforced my decision, new friends
April: fly back to Shanghai to see my friends again, reunite with Nicole again and off to RIC in Hangzhou, great AIESECers in Wuhan, Chengdu and pandas, Emeishan and monkeys, random huge buddha in Leshan, Xi'an, Beijing again with David and Virginie and off to Canada
May: hi home, goodbye home forever, visiting friends at NLDC in Toronto, Montreal then flying to Toronto, Vancouver, Shanghai, one week break to see friends, Guangzhou, amazing APMCTC, bus to Hanoi with Laura, reuniting with Hanoi friends
June: finally arriving in HCMC for the first time, homestay with Minh, finding a house, settling down, starting as a team, welcoming our first CEEDer
July: camping with Scouts, amazing NatCo in Long Hai, great trip to the Highlands
August: IC and seeing old friends in Brazil, demotivating conference, shock in Amsterdam
September: Japan Study Tour, inspiration and reflection, work, work and work
October: Phu Quoc island, first BoA meeting
November: frustration kicking in as expected, sharing and readjusting
December: confusion, remotivation, too many new people in our house, Christmas in Vung Tau, interesting new year eve
It seems that every year keeps getting better. At this time last year I couldn't see further than flying back from China in April. My choices have led me to living a great experience here. When I decided to run for MC of Vietnam, I didn't know I'd get as much out of it as I am getting now. Living and working in another country in a multicultural team is giving me much more than what I could have expected. I constantly have to challenge myself and adjust. Some changes I see in myself:
Learning to trust others more: it's always been hard for me to open up to new people, but by being surrounded by people who have all known me for less than a year, I have to be more trusting and accept their feedback and criticism.
Increased adaptability: living in another culture where interpersonal communication is different, I am always analysing the way I act and talk in order to adjust it to fit with Vietnam. This is not an easy task, but a great learning one. It's helping me develop self-awareness and awareness of others. I have to deal with humility, saving face, non confrontation, etc. I also have to adapt in terms of living conditions. I wasn't expecting to be spending a year in a one bedroom 'house', having to share a bed with different people through the year. After 7 months it seems like it's possible.
Realization of what matters: having considerably low standards of living here, I realize I do not need a big house and all the latest gadgets, although I would enjoy a little bit more privacy and comfort. Being away from home, and in a country that values family a lot, I also value my family and my old friends more.
I feel I am immensely lucky to be working with such amazing individuals as the members of AIESEC Vietnam. Smart and ambitious people, people willing to sacrifice a lot for their personal development and the impact on their peers. They are constantly challenging me, and I am growing a lot from it. I feel that what I am doing here is extremely meaningful and that motivates me to do better. I am living an experience that will be determining for my future, in terms of the professional experience, personal development and contacts I am gaining. Sometimes in AIESEC we forget how special what we are doing is, because we are surrounded by people who do the same. But when I think about it, I don't know many people my age from Quebec City who have such a wide Asian network and have the same level of responsibility in their job as I do.
What I can say to others who are graduating soon and aren't sure what they want to do is follow your gut feelings, take the plunge, do whatever it is that you're still hesitating about. In the end you won't regret it. It will all be worth it and will make sense, even though maybe right now it's unclear.
To all of you, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for being in my life, for being part of 2008 even though we might not even have seen each other in person this past year. I have learned a lot from you.
2009 shall be even better: Tet Holiday in Binh Dinh, Hoi An and Da Nang, parents visiting in March, Hanoi and maybe Hong Kong, and then who knows! I am not totally sure what is coming after July, but it should be interesting. The future is looking bright!
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